It's Not THAT Kind of Harem!
by Kakusei
Summary: One Piece SI. I've been turned into a human NetNavi by an R.O.B., and flung into the One Piece world to live out some of my dreams. The catch? My Devil Fruit needs me to gather a harem for it to be of any combat use to me. Rated T for swearing and adult content. Pairings to be decided in the future.
1. Chapter 1

It's Not _That_ Kind of Harem

Summary: One Piece SI. I've been turned into a human NetNavi by an R.O.B., and flung into the One Piece world to live out some of my dreams. The catch? My Devil Fruit needs me to gather a harem for it to be of any combat use to me.

I do not own One Piece, Mega Man Battle Network, or any of the characters or concepts that either series has. I only own the original ideas, characters, and character interactions I write here.

Chapter 1: New Game

**-Our Earth-**

**-My Bedroom-**

"Excuse me." That voice snapped me out of my "YouTube & Chill" mode. I whirled around, removing my headphones in the process, and found myself staring at a man wearing a hooded cloak, clasped with a brooch in the shape of a kite shield. I couldn't see anything of his face outside of that vulpine grin, even with him leaning against the posts of my bed. "Where's the bathroom? I've been holding it in since I left."

"Who the flying fuck are you, and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

"My my, such a foul mouth for someone as patient as you, Randall Harper." The cloaked man chuckled, his smile split wide. "And here I am, about to offer you the deal of a lifetime, and _that's _how you receive a guest?"

"You're not a guest, you're an intruder," I countered, trying to make anything else out from under that cloak. "My parents tend to inform me if we have guests or family coming over, and they're out right now."

"Fair assessment," the cloaked man hummed. "Not that they or any mortal lock could have stopped me from just appearing in your room."

"...you're a Random Omnipotent Being, aren't you?"

"Right on the first guess! You really _are_ a clever boy. And with that out of the way, we can get down to business. I'm a bit bored, and I want some entertainment. And _you_ are going to provide."

'_Not that I have much choice in the matter.'_ "So, you just gonna drop me in without any further warning, or…?"

The cloaked R.O.B. just shook his head, a black silhouette forming his face. "And where's the fun in that? Watching a human struggle with nothing but the clothes on their backs and their wits? Please. I can watch that on TV any day of the week." R.O.B. leaned in uncomfortably close, making me unnerved at how it just seemed to be like a vantablack void and a mouth under that hood. "I prefer to have my protagonists have a bit of a leg up on the competition, and I believe that a happy protagonist is an entertaining one. Here's my deal: I'll send you to one of your favorite fandom worlds in the Multiverse, and even de-age you so that you'll fit in better with the crowd you'll be hanging with, then convert your lost age to raw physical power. And if you survive until the end of the canon timeline, you win! You'll be able to come and go between this world and that one as you please, and no time will pass between your leave and your return. Now, here's the kicker: I'm going to let you barter for your choice in powers."

"Hmm… and what are the rules of this bartering?" I asked carefully.

"Oh, I _knew_ you were going to be a fun one!" R.O.B. cackled. "So, the rules are like this. First, the greater value the thing is you barter, the greater power beyond your normal body you can get in return. Second, if you barter for something that can potentially exist in that branch of the Multiverse, the less it'll cost. Third, you don't get any experience in any of the powers you barter for. I'm not that nice."

"Great. So are you going to tell me where I'm going before we barter, R.O.B.?"

The R.O.B.'s smile faded to a frown. "My name's not R.O.B, or B.R.O.B, it's Ashuyu, mortal," Ashuyu said before his smile returned. "And I was getting to that. You're going into the One Piece World."

My eyes widened, in fear and excitement. "You're sending me to one of the potentially deadliest shonen worlds?!"

"That's right! After all, it's your favorite fandom! Why wouldn't I send you somewhere you love?" Ashuyu pushed off the bedpost and sat down cross-legged on thin air. "What do _you_ think you need to survive and thrive on the Grand Line?"

I paused, idly rubbing my chin. _'Well, I know I need Haki and physical capabilities at least matching the average person in One Piece. I would like to have a base to call my own where I can do stuff like grinding for materials and EXP… and I'd want to be able to have a variety of moves to keep people on their toes. And not that I'd say this out loud, but a harem of girls would be nice.'_

"Now _that's _what I was looking for!" Ashuyu barked, making me jump a bit. "Though it's a bit typical of an Isekai protagonist… eh, whatever. So!" Ashuyu clapped his hands and looked at me. "I think I can give all that to you, but how do you want it packaged?"

'_All of what? Did… did he read my mind?'_

"More I can hear your surface thoughts, kid," Ashuyu revealed with a wider smirk. "I can give you all that right off the bat, basically turn you into an Isekai protagonist with cheat powers, and all it'd cost you is… your memories of the One Piece timeline."

"That's… a fairly standard price, I think…" I sighed, considering the option for a bit. "Actually… can you put that into a Devil Fruit?"

"I can give you the last two bits in the Devil Fruit, no additional cost," Ashuyu chuckled. "But your cheater body is gonna cost you extra. And you haven't even picked any. Non-One Piece powers yet."

'_He's right, I don't even know what powers I'd want… I should pick something familiar, something that doesn't have a huge learning curve for my body. If only I could download info…' _My face lit up with an idea. "Can you make my body work like a NetNavi from the Mega Man Battle Network series?"

"Oh-ho! That's a new one!" Ashuyu chortled. "So you want to use BattleChips and Navi Customizer parts and the like?"

"Yeah, what would that cost?"

"Not as much as you think, kid. I can do that for basically free, with how much age I'm taking off you. You won't be as strong as you would have been if I had converted _all_ your age and such into physical ability, but you'll be as strong as you'd be at the start of any of the games in the series. So you'll only be _slightly_ better than the average Marine. And I'll throw in a few extra perks too, like synergy with your Devil Fruit."

"Wow. Can I take my smartphone with me too?"

"Why not?" Ashuyu shrugged, still grinning. "After all, you'd probably just make yourself another one or something, so I'll just save you the trouble and make yours near-indestructible and all that jazz. Now, I'm gonna have to knock you out for this next part, having your body reformatted like this really hurts. Oh, and I'll be rolling a d100 table to figure out when and where you're gonna end up."

"You're gonna _WHAT?!_" I yelped as I felt myself black out.

**-World of One Piece-**

**-Orange Town-**

**-May 5-**

"Are you alright, lad?" A new voice made my eyes snap open, and meeting my brown eyes was a thin old man with greyed hair that reminded me of a poodle's head. I was more stunned that I could see crystal clear without my glasses on. "I don't know how you got past the Buggy Pirates, but you should be thankful you did without a scratch."

'_Buggy Pirates? And Mayor Boodle… I suppose this explains where I'm at in the timeline.'_ I sat up from the rough stone road and dusted myself off. After noting that my arms were much less hairy and thinner, I did a quick inventory of my form. My height didn't change much, as I'd pretty much finished growing towards my later teen years. I didn't have as much excess flab on my body, but my muscles weren't as defined either. I was still wearing casual clothes from before my trip, a green t-shirt with the Hylian Emblem from the Legend of Zelda on it in yellow and a pair of tan cargo shorts. I hadn't been quite so lucky to keep my shoes or socks, but I had been given a pair of simple straw sandals to wear instead. "I'm just lucky like that, sir. I'm Randall Harper, but my friends call me Randy." I ran a hand through my brown hair and chuckled, feeling my hair was thicker again. _'Good, I hated that I was going bald from stress and bad genetics.'_

"I'm Boodle, the mayor of this once-fine town." I could see the luster of anger in his eyes, obviously held for the Buggy Pirates. "And this is Chou-Chou. He's the one who found you out cold." I looked down and saw a white dog with a somewhat serious look on his face. "I've never seen him leave his post for anything before, but I guess he thought you were injured."

I knelt down to eye level with Chou-Chou and smiled. "Then I owe you a thank you, Chou-Chou." I gave the dog's ears a quick scratch. His eyes never faltered, but his tail betrayed him like most dogs do, wagging as I scratched his ears. "I assume the Buggy Pirates are the reason your town's not so fine anymore, Mayor?"

"You're right, but we can talk more back at the camp. I'd rather make sure we don't get ambushed by the Buggy Pirates."

"Hey, I hear someone over this way!" A gruff voice belted out. _'Murphy, you and that law of yours…'_

"Oh no, that's them!" Boodle yelped in a hushed voice as Chou-Chou took his leave. "We need to hide! Grab that chest of yours, and let's get going!"

"What ches—" I stopped asking when I felt my foot hit something wooden and made a slight clanging noise. "Oh, that." Looking down I saw a small-ish chest, maybe the length of my bicep long, deep, and tall. I opened it and found a note on top of a nice traveling cloak folded neatly to fit perfectly inside the chest. I snatched out the note and scanned it over quickly.

"Boy, you can read that later if you want to live!" Boodle's protests only fell on deaf ears.

"_**Dear Randall,**_

_**If you're reading this, you probably just found the chest at your feet. Inside is your Devil Fruit, and an item necessary to use it. Eat up, and have fun figuring out your powers.**_

_**\- Ashuyu"**_

"That son of a—" I growled as I pulled out the cloak and found the Devil Fruit beneath. Drawing it from the chest, I could almost feel the sinister aura the Devil Fruit gave off, the palm-sized fruit itself resembling a purple lemon with a swirled pattern on the surface, its stem and leaf swirled as well.

"Is...is that a Devil Fruit?" Boodle asked as I tossed it all into my mouth and bit down. My face started turning blue and I felt absolutely nauseous as I chewed it. "Y-young man! What's wrong?!"

I managed to give a forceful swallow and choked down the fruit, coughing and wishing I had something to wash that down. "Oh sweet mother of Arceus, that tasted so BAD!" I will never forget the taste of burning rubber, blasted quarry rock dust, and skunk stink for as long as I live. And it had a bitter-sour aftertaste!

"Hey, I heard them over here!" The gruff voice clambered as I grabbed the cloak out of the chest and stashed the note inside it.

"Move, Mayor!" Boodle didn't waste a second more as we ran off, the pirate grunts close behind us.

"There's an alley down this way, we can lose them down there!" Boodle hung a hard left and I followed him, only to hit a dead end. "Shoot, I forgot we blocked this off last week to keep Buggy's men away!"

"Only one thing to do…" I said as I grabbed Boodle and flung the cloak around us. The cloak dropped to the floor, completely empty as three Buggy pirates stopped in front of the alleyway.

"Damn, they're not here!" Grunt A cursed.

The second grunt pointed away from the alley. "They probably ran down that way! After 'em!" The three grunt pirates ran off, and as soon as I was sure they were gonna for good, the cloak rose back up, and I pulled it off myself and Boodle.

"We lost them…" Boodle gasped for thankful breaths. "I never thought I'd see a Devil Fruit in action… thank you, young man. You saved both our lives. But… what was that place?"

"I don't know…" I hummed as I threw the cloak on and clasped it around my shoulders. "But I can find out once we're safe and sound."

**-15 Minutes Later-**

It didn't take much for us to get back to the village camp, I found out along the way that I was much stronger and more agile than I had ever been on Earth. The villagers all smiled and waved as Boodle and I walked closer to the tents.

"Glad to see you made it back safe and sound, Mayor!" One of the men chuckled. "And who's your new friend?"

"This young man saved my life today," Boodle said with a clap of his hand on my shoulder. "Chou-Chou found him unconscious, and he helped me escape from some nearby Buggy pirates."

"I'm Randy," I gave a quick bow. "Pleasure to meet you all."

"How are we sure he's not one of the pirates undercover?" One of the more skeptical villagers asked, glaring at me.

"He saved my life," Boodle cut into defend me. "And Chou-Chou likes him too. He's always been a good judge of character."

"He's right to be skeptical, Mayor," I shrugged. "A guy wakes up in the middle of town and saves you? That sounds like a fishy story to me too." My stomach growled quite loudly, and I felt a good day's worth of hunger set in. "Speaking of fish, would you happen to have any food to spare? I just remembered I'm kinda hungry."

"We don't have much to spare, but I think we can scrounge something up," a matronly woman chuckled. "After all, we can't let the guy who saved our Mayor go hungry."

One decent meal later, I was fed and ready to go explore that other world I had access to. "I take it you're going back to that place?" Boodle asked me as he led me to an empty tent that had been set up for me.

"Yeah, and I really want to," I nodded as I tried to figure out how that happened. "After all, I can't train my Devil Fruit without knowing its name or what exactly it does." _'Or get a start on learning to fight as a human NetNavi. Don't want to make the villagers think I'm actually on Buggy's side.'_

Boodle nodded to me. "Well, hopefully you'll figure it out soon. Then maybe you can find a way out of here before Buggy finds you."

"Mayor, I promise you that I'm not going to leave until Buggy and his crew are beaten." Boodle looked at me like I was speaking Elvish or something. "Once I figure out how I can use this Devil Fruit in combat and do some more training, I'll be taking the fight to Buggy's crew. It's the least I can do for your village."

Boodle looked like he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself. "I see I can't change your mind, young man. There's a fire in your eyes that I think used to be in mine before Buggy came here. Good luck with your training. I'll make up some excuse if you don't show up for dinner."

"Nah, just tell them I have a Devil Fruit," I shrugged as I lifted up the flap to the tent. "It's easier to explain that way."

"...whatever you say, young man." I nodded to Boodle and ducked inside the tent, closing it behind me.

'_Now… how did I activate this Devil Fruit?'_ I took off the cloak and examined it. _'I threw this around myself and Boodle and we dropped into that place… maybe I can make a doorway with it?'_

I hung the cloak up like a curtain and gently touched my hands to it. The cloak started to glow from behind, and looking around the other side, I just saw the cloak's opposite side. _'Then how is...the Door-Door Fruit. Of course, it works like that!'_ I pulled back the cloak, and I grinned as I stepped through the portal I made.

As the cloak-door closed behind me, I was in awe of my surroundings. I was in a beautiful palace-like area; walls were made of marble and alabaster stone, trimmed in gold, tiles on the floor were smooth as silk and warm to the touch, and there was still a sky revealed in roofless areas, but the sky was a crisp green. It reminded me of Namek in a way.

"This place looks amazing… but what is it?" I felt my phone buzz and I looked at it. Ashuyu was on the caller ID. "When the hell did he put his number in my phone?" I sighed and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey kiddo, how do you like your private palace?" Ashuyu chuckled. "Big enough for you?"

"I… think so? Thank you for fixing my eyes, by the way. What is this place?"

"This place is the world that is created and accessed through your Devil Fruit. You have complete control over how it looks, what kinds of rooms are in it, and what the staff looks like."

"Staff? You mean I can make servants?"

"Yes, just not the Holy Grail War kind," Ashuyu snickered. "Maids, butlers, cooks, housekeepers, the whole nine yards. The only servants you can't make on your own are the guards."

"And why would I not be able to make guards? Outside of me being one of… two people who could potentially access this world unaided?"

"Because a Harem only needs guards to protect the women inside it." I could practically smell the shit-eating grin on the other side of the phone call. "Surprise! You ate the Harem-Harem Fruit!"

"What."

"I know what you're thinking; It's not _that_ kind of harem. You now have nearly unlimited access to your own Harem complex! Feel free to thank me, praise me, offer me a virgin or two…"

"Okay, _hold on for a second._ You… gave me the Harem-Harem Fruit. How the hell does that work? How the hell did I access this… Harem World through a cloak?!"

"In order: you can now mark women as being under your protection, in your 'Harem' if you will. Look up the definition of the word. And you can access the Harem World through any veil you can touch, though you can make one in an emergency from the air. I wouldn't use it as a portal though, those ones open up in the middle of the Harem World's sky."

"A veil? I used a _cloak_!" I snapped.

Ashuyu sighed in annoyance. "Alright, Randall, it's simple. When I say a 'veil', it's more like a curtain or drape. 'Veil Human' just sounds a bit more mysterious than 'Curtain Human', doesn't it?"

"...you got me there," I admitted. "So by draping the cloak over myself and Boodle, I opened a portal to the Harem World?"

"_Now_ you're getting it. There's a few other things I could explain to you… but I'm being generous enough as-is straight up telling you the basics and name of your Devil Fruit. I'll let you figure out the rest of your Devil Fruit's ins and outs on your own."

I groaned a bit, running my hand down my face. "I suppose, by now, I should have expected that. I guess now's a good a time as ever to go over my NetNavi abilities too, if you wouldn't mind explaining."

"Perfect time to test out your powers here then," Ashuyu commented. "Imagine a training area, one you'd think would be appropriate for your current needs."

"My current needs, huh?" I stroked my chin in thought, remembering that I used to have a goatee and mustache before Ashuyu edited my body. "Well… we're training NetNavi abilities and I need to see EXACTLY what my new body can do… and with what I know of GOOD training areas…" I jumped back a bit as a new doorway shot up from the tiled floor, perfectly aligned on a blank spot on the wall. "...is it always going to do that each time I make a new room?"

"Probably!" Ashuyu chuckled as he appeared beside me. "I think you're the first person to like, ever use this Devil Fruit that we know of! Now c'mon, let's go see what you made!"

I pocketed my phone and followed Ashuyu as he floated over to the doorway, but he let me enter it first. Inside was a large rectangular space, roughly twice as long as it was wide, with several blank lines dividing the interior into squares. There was a much larger divide between the two sides, one marked as blue and the other marked as red.

"Kinda simple, isn't it?" Ashuyu asked.

"For a god, I'm surprised you're thinking that small." I grinned as I moved my hand up to a holopad that appeared beneath it, and placed my hand on it. The room lit up and the scene changed to a modern city street, with cars parked by the sidewalks and even fake pedestrians.

"Oooooh, so now you can practice in any environment?" Ashuyu beamed like a kid in a candy store. "Can you do outer space?"

I smirked as the people vanished, and the buildings seemed to break apart and fly away, revealing the star-studded black void of outer space, with a few planets in the background, and of course, the Earth and the Moon nearest to where we were floating. Another thought, and we were on a large stone platform anchored above an active volcano, and the heat kicked up high, letting the smell of brimstone waft into our noses. A third and we were at the bottom of the ocean, which was dark and cold, but teeming with life.

"Kudos for the realism," Ashuyu chuckled. "So basically, you think it…"

"This place does it," I said as I returned the room back to its basic settings. "I've even made sure to keep in time dilation and gravity multiplier functions so I can train faster and more efficiently for less time."

"Can you make ENEMIES though?" Ashuyu's vulpine grin returned as I tried to make an impressive enemy appear. But all that appeared was a Marine crewman, and…

"A Mettaur. I can't make anything stronger than a Mettaur?" I groaned as I dismissed the enemies. "I was going for like, Akainu."

"Nah, the Mettaurs are the default enemy you can make. You trying to get yourself killed, kid?" Ashuyu asked.

"No, I just wanted to punch his face in for a bit while he stood there like a Smash Bros CPU player."

"HA!" Ashuyu barked as he turned back to me. "Well, I've got good news, and bad news. What do you want first?"

"Gimme the bad news."

"Bad news is, you're nowhere _near_ strong enough to make an End-Game Boss like him," Ashuyu pointed upwards as he got in REALLY close to my face. "The _good_ news is that you'll be able to make stronger enemies to fight in here as you add members to your Harem and get more skilled with your Devil Fruit."

"I suppose that makes sense…" I sighed before Ashuyu booted me into the middle of the room. "What the hell was that for?!"

"Enemies aren't going to wait around for you to finish monologuing, kid!" Ashuyu chuckled as he slapped his hand on the holopad. "Hope you're ready for the game tutorial!" Before I could do anything else, three each of Mettaurs and Marine Crewmen appeared in front of me, each placed squarely on a single tile. "So, for starters, I already took the liberty of giving you access to a Chip Folder. You've now got an App on your phone that will let you look at it, and any other Chip Data you'll collect in the future."

I pulled out my Smartphone and found the app, which of course had MegaMan's NetNavi symbol on it. I tapped it to see the folder, and unsurprisingly, it was a basic starting folder like you'd get at the start of any Battle Network game. "So I can attack with Battle Chips in addition to any normal attacks I can do?" I asked. "And I get Battle Chips from fighting battles?"

"Actually, you'll only ever get Chip Data from fighting Viruses, NetNavis, or other digital entities in the vein of like, Alpha. If you want Battle Chips from your folder, just think of them. Now, you won't have the problem of the randomized Chip selection, but you'll only be able to use up to five Battle Chips at a time. And if you want to use a Program Advance, you'll lose access to those Chips in the Folder until you're done with combat."

"So carry multiples if I want to use a Program Advance more than once a fight. Got it."

"If you want access to more than five Battle Chips, you do have the Add function to give yourself more options, but once again, you'll be sacrificing the Chips you add for the duration of the battle, as well as having no Chips to use for about… thirty seconds." Ashuyu grinned as the Marines charged in at me. "Battle, start!"

"Ho shit!" I backpedaled away from a few quick slashes from the Marines. "Alright, if that's how it is… **Sword!**" I was only half-surprised when my forearm was covered by the "handguard" of the Sword Chip and a blue blade of energy shot out, allowing me to catch the next attacking Marine's blade. "Alright, taste… I dunno, plasma!" I kicked the Marine in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him as I distanced myself from him. I charged right back in and cut him down in a single stroke, causing the Marine to de-rezz like a deleted foe in the Battle Network anime. "One down..!" I was hit by a shockwave that ran across the ground and got knocked flat on my ass as Ashuyu cackled. "...and five to go…"

"Eyes open, kid! Ya don't got Haki yet!" Ashuyu heckled me as I pushed myself off the ground just in time to dodge a sword stab from a Marine.

"Alright, let's see how you handle this! **Cannon!**" My free arm converted into a hefty cannon, and bracing it with the edge of the Sword, I fired a few shots at the last two Marines and the Mettaur that hit me before, deleting them both. "Nice!" I had to dodge another shockwave as the remaining two Mettaurs had lined up. I tried to fire at the first one, but it dropped and its workman's helmet tanked the shot. As a second shockwave shot out, I rolled to the side and let it pass, the second Mettaur dropping down and the first moved to align itself with me. _'Right, the shockwaves can only travel in a straight line. And this gives me time to line up my shots!'_ The Mettaur pulled out its pickaxe again, and before it could strike the ground, I blasted it out of the air with the Cannon, the final Mettaur shortly following the same way.

"Nice work, kid!" Ashuyu snapped a finger and a round of applause echoed in the training room. "Now it's time for your second lesson." I looked at the deity closely as my arms returned to normal. "As you might have noticed, you're not visibly hurt from getting hit by that attack earlier. Your body's now a hybrid of a NetNavi and a human." I looked down and I wasn't hurt at all, even my clothes were just fine.

'_Thank god, I really like this shirt.'_ "So if I don't get hurt physically… how _AM_ I getting hurt?"

"Each attack that hits you drains your stamina," Ashuyu revealed. "If you drop to zero, then you've run yourself ragged and will die from exhaustion. It's not a pleasant experience."

"No shit?" I bit out with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

"Just gonna warn you though, this only works on attacks that you can naturally withstand, so if you get hit by something like...a barrage of flying slashes from 'Hawkeye' Mihawk, you're gonna get cut up and _bleed_," Ashuyu reclined on the air, taking his hand off the holopad. "Recovery Chips will restore your stamina, which won't refill outside of battle unless you use some Subchip data or you take a proper rest, and they can't really fix internal injuries or broken limbs. At best, they accelerate your natural healing capabilities."

"...why in Hela's name did you pick the worst mechanic to integrate into me?" I asked, knowing how utterly annoying it was in BN1 and a few other games to have to carry over damage without an easy source of healing.

"Because one, you're a hybrid based on a human, humans don't work like that, and B, this ain't the internet or the Battle Network series." Ashuyu scolded as he clicked his tongue at me. "But this lesson is how your NetNavi powers interact with the world around you, so shut up and get back to listening." Ashuyu slapped his hand back on the holopad and two more Mettaurs and a Marine carrying cannon-barreled rifles appeared. "Not all Battle Chips will work the same as they did in the games anymore, like for instance, AreaGrab. Since the battlefield is open and there are no defined areas, it'll let you do a free flash-step to get up closer to your enemies. Go ahead and try it out."

I nodded as I selected two Swords, a WideSword, and two AreaGrabs into my inventory. The battle began as the three enemies began raining down ranged death in my face. "**AreaGrab!**" My body flickered right up to the Mettaur about to attack me. "**WideSword!**" The diamond-tipped blade with a wider handguard appeared over my forearm, and with a slash, I had cut down the Mettaur and heavily damaged the Marine gunner. He tried to fire at me, but I flickered back to my original spot and he wasted the attack. "The heck? I was just aiming for the Mettaur!"

"Finish up and I'll explain!" Ashuyu chortled as the remaining Mettaur launched another shockwave at me.

"Fine! **AreaGrab!**" I flickered again and cut down the Mettaur and finished off the Marine gunner. "Explanation, please."

"Since you asked so nicely," Ashuyu snarked. "WideSword and, once you get the Chip for it, LongSword, actively change the range of your sword swings. LongSword makes it so you hit further ahead like you had a longer blade, and WideSword makes it so it's like there's a pair of clones flanking you that make the same sword swing. It's not necessarily stronger or further _forward_ reaching like the LongSword, but it does let you cover a greater area. There's a few other Chips that do similar things, but hey, that's the fun of experimenting!"

I nodded to the R.O.B. "I probably will. Is there a third part to this lesson?"

"Of course! All good deities do things in threes from time to time," Ashuyu placed his hand on the holopad again and this time, there was not only two Mettaurs, but also a copy of Marine Captain "Axe-Hand" Morgan. "Now, this last Ability is based on your state of mind. If you're tired, physically or mentally, you'll enter a Tired State." I felt my body become sluggish and heavy, and it was getting hard to focus on the enemies before me. "However, if you're focusing especially well, you'll enter the Full Synchro State." My body then became incredibly energized, and I felt much more aware of my surroundings. "While in Full Synchro, your body will react faster, sense better, and your next attack with a Battle Chip or Program Advance will hit twice as hard, and then you'll drop Full Synchro. However, you _gain_ Full Synchro when you hit with a counter-strike, meaning you can potentially chain Full Synchro together to keep it constant. Right now, you really can't trigger it at will, so consider that a blessing. Now, why don't you give it a shot?"

I nodded, not looking away from the battlefield as the Mettaurs and Morgan started moving. I was able to see the slightest tells in their movements, allowing me to track them and keep track of all of them much more easily. "**Air Shot.**" I timed my attack just as the Mettaur was about to strike the ground with its pickaxe, knocking it back and I felt the flicker of power from losing and regaining Full Synchro. Morgan tried to swing down at me with his axe, but I side-hopped and took out the other Mettaur with another timed hit from the Air Shot. "**Vulcan, Attack+10, White Capsule.**" The Air Shot turned into an arm-mounted Gatling Gun as I dodged another strike from Morgan. I carefully aimed and just as Morgan brought the axe around in a sideways cut, I fired, the first round striking Morgan perfectly and paralyzing him while the other rounds tore into him, with Morgan being deleted on the last hit. "That… is an experience."

"Like a whole new view of the world, right?" Ashuyu smirked. "That's all for the basics of your NetNavi form in combat! You can also turn yourself into data and 'jack in' to enter machines, but this world's relatively low-tech, so I doubt that'll come up often. Now that we're done here, I'll be taking my leave. If you need something, just call me up and we can barter for it. Later!" Ashuyu waved as he faded from sight, leaving me alone inside the training room.

I sighed and rolled my shoulders. "Well, I guess I better get to grinding. I'm gonna need more Battle Chips if I want to show off to Luffy when he gets here."

_And so I spent the next two weeks training my butt off when I wasn't sleeping or helping the villagers_.

"Why thank you, young man," one of the older women of the village was holding a handbasket of veggies as I harvested some into a larger basket with shoulder straps on it. "It would have taken me all day to harvest these by myself."

I smiled and waved it off with a carrot in my hand. "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

_I also played around with the buildings I could create in the Harem World. It was a bit tricky making a Dungeon Generator, but necessary so I could create special areas with a specific element of or particular Viruses. Turns out the dungeons make Bosses too, which I don't have any control over._

"Why the hell am I fighting a sentient train in a dungeon based on an OVEN?!" I screamed as I ran from , not able to leap to the side due to him slowly surpassing my own top speed. "I was going for like, FireMan! And I haven't liked trains since I was a kid!"

_...yeah, that wasn't fun. But hey, I'll be damned if that run didn't help my reaction time and speed. Anyway, two weeks of training went by, and while I was on a supply run for the villagers, I heard some people running on the next street over._

"This might be the day then," I hummed hopefully as I dashed over to investigate. I saw three of Buggy's men chasing a girl with orange hair, and she was clutching a piece of paper tightly in one of her hands. "And there's Nami, but where's—" Cannonfire cut off my thoughts as I saw a very familiar straw-hatted boy about my age fall down from the sky, and crash land between Nami and the pirates. "Never a dull moment with him around." I dashed out of the alley and ran over. "Oi, is that guy alright?!"

"What?" Nami gasped as I approached the scene.

"Who the heck is this guy?" One of Buggy's men asked, already brandishing his blade towards me.

"Owww… why would someone go and shoot me with a cannon?" Luffy asked as he recovered from the blunt impact. "Phew! I'm finally back on the ground!"

"What the—he's still alive!?" one of the Buggy pirates commented.

I cleared my throat, drawing everyone else's attention. "Okay, so before we get off on the wrong foot, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm—"

"B-Boss! You're here to save me!" Nami cut in, giving me big puppy dog eyes before running off. "I'll leave them to you!"

"So, you're her BOSS, eh?" the three pirates drew their cutlasses and loomed over me.

"Wow, seems kinda weird that she'd up and leave you like that," Luffy commented.

"That's because she's not—" I got cut off by one of the pirates smacking me with the handguard of their cutlass. I just turned and GLARED at the pirate who hit me. "...you know, it's rude to interrupt someone when they're talking."

The bald-headed man with two bolts in his head flinched back a bit from the glare. "W-well, BOSS, yer gonna pay! That was Captain Buggy's map!"

I held up a finger to the bolt-brain. "Hold on a second." I turned to Luffy, who looked like he was gonna step in. "Mind if I handle this? He did hit me first."

"Oh sure. You got dibs," Luffy just stepped back as the grunts just laughed.

"You think you can beat all three of us on your own?" the bolt-brain chortled.

I only gave a smirk. "You know what happens when you end up bullying a dragon?"

"What? What're you even—?"

"You get BURNED. **HotBody1!**" Three rings of fire encircled my body and lit all three of the pirates partially on fire.

"BURNING! HOT!" the three grunts tried to run and put out the flames, but I was already a step ahead.

"Here, lemme cool you off! **AquaSword!**" Luffy's eyes lit up as my arm turned into a blade made of flowing water with the standard Battle Chip "handguard".

The grunts all froze in fear, ignoring their bodies burning. "What the hell?! This guy's a freak!"

"That's so cool!" Luffy exclaimed as I cut the three grunts down, dousing the flames at the same time.

"And that's that," I turned my arm back to normal and dusted my hands off. "So, what's your name?"

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy! Who're you, sword-arm-guy?"

I chuckled as Luffy already nicknamed me. "Name's Randall Harper, but I go by Randy."

"My name's Nami, by the way," Nami chimed in from her spot on a balcony. "And you two must be pretty strong if you beat those three bare-handed."

"But he didn't beat them bare-handed, he used his cool arm-sword," Luffy pointed out, much to Nami's confusion.

"Eh, I've got a long way to go before I feel like I can say I'm strong," I shrugged. "Besides, I'm sure Luffy here could have beaten those guys if he wanted to."

"Darn right!" Luffy laughed with his big ol' D-shaped grin. "Shishishishi!"

I chuckled a bit as I turned back to Nami. "That was pretty sneaky of you to ditch us and make them think I was your boss."

"Oh, water under the bridge!" Nami hopped down from the balcony and walked over, getting a closer look at me. She seemed pleased as she took stock of my features. "I'm a thief who steals from pirates, and only pirates. You guys wanna be partners?"


	2. Chapter 2

It's Not That Kind of Harem

Summary: One Piece SI. I've been turned into a human NetNavi by an R.O.B., and flung into the One Piece world to live out some of my dreams. The catch? My Devil Fruit needs me to gather a harem for it to be of any combat use to me.

I do not own One Piece, Mega Man Battle Network, or any of the characters or concepts that either series has. I only own the original ideas, characters, and character interactions I write here.

Chapter 2: Nami, Luffy, and the Mysterious Power of Captain Buggy

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy! Who're you, sword-arm-guy?"

I chuckled as Luffy already nicknamed me. "Name's Randall Harper, but I go by Randy."

"My name's Nami, by the way," Nami chimed in from her spot on a balcony. "And you two must be pretty strong if you beat those three bare-handed."

"But he didn't beat them bare-handed, he used his cool arm-sword," Luffy pointed out, much to Nami's confusion.

"Eh, I've got a long way to go before I feel like I can say I'm strong," I shrugged. "Besides, I'm sure Luffy here could have beaten those guys if he wanted to."

"Darn right!" Luffy laughed with his big ol' D-shaped grin. "Shishishishi!"

I chuckled a bit as I turned back to Nami. "That was pretty sneaky of you to ditch us and make them think I was your boss."

"Oh, water under the bridge!" Nami hopped down from the balcony and walked over, getting a closer look at me. She seemed pleased as she took stock of my features. "I'm a thief who steals from pirates, and only pirates. You guys wanna be partners?"

Luffy and I looked at each other briefly, and then turned back to Nami. "No thanks/Sure, why not," we said in unison.

"What! Why not?!" Nami asked as Luffy started walking away from us.

"Not interested," Luffy plainly replied. I did my best to keep a straight face as I hopped over Luffy and did one of the things you should never do to Luffy to make a good impression: I stole his hat off his head. "Hey! Gimme my hat back!" Luffy growled and started winding back a punch as I handed it back to him.

"Sorry, just wanted a closer look. I'm thinking about getting a hat myself," I apologized. "You really should put a string on this thing or something if it's that important to you."

"Oh. That's a good idea!" Luffy said as he put his hat back on.

"Is that hat really that important?" Nami asked. She seemed surprised that Luffy was ready to punch me over taking it. "You hiding a treasure map in that thing?"

"My hat's my treasure," Luffy started matter-of-factly. Before Nami could inquire further, Luffy's stomach growled. "I forgot, I'm starving."

"Well, maybe I can help with that," Nami piped up.

"Actually, let ME help with that," I chimed in. "I've been on this island for two months helping out the villagers reclaim food and valuables from their homes."

"Wow, really?" Luffy asked. "That's sure nice of you."

"You've been here for two months?" Nami asked surprised.

I nodded to her. "Let's find a place to bunker down for a bit, and I'll explain what's going on here, Boss."

-10 Minutes Later-

"So, Randy, what you're saying is that you got abandoned here, and since then you've been trying to help the villagers reclaim what's theirs from Buggy the Clown?" Nami summarized. We were inside one of the houses, and I'd walked into a "pantry" and come back out with food enough for Luffy to snack on. After that, I explained to both Luffy and Nami why I was floating around town, and had to explain to Luffy what was happening on the island.

"That sounds about right," I nodded to Nami before turning to Luffy. "And you got separated from your crew and you were being carried away by that giant bird before Buggy tried to shoot it down?"

"Yep," Luffy nodded to me.

"So how many people are on your crew?" Nami asked.

"Oh, it's just me and another guy," Luffy said as he ate a large sandwich made of a thick slices of ham, cheese, and tomato. "So why are you stealing from these houses if you only rob pirates?"

"I'm not stealing from these houses!" Nami snapped.

"And I'll be paying Barkin back for the food I took from his pantry," I added. "So I'm not stealing from him, Luffy."

"Oh, that makes sense," Luffy said as he grabbed a bread roll. "So who's this Buggy guy, and why's everyone so afraid of him?"

"Buggy's got a particular love of cannons," Nami revealed. "I heard that some kids made fun of his big red nose, and he mowed that village down with a cannon."

"Eh, sounds like he's compensating for something to me," I joked.

Nami just gave me a look. "Whatever the case, he's also got some kind of strange power."

"So he's a Devil Fruit user."

"Devil Fruits are just a myth." Nami cut back.

"Are not," I replied. "After all, I'm a Devil Fruit user."

"Y-You are?" Nami asked.

"Is it that arm-sword thing you did earlier?" Luffy asked, stars in his eyes.

"No one can turn their arm into a sword!" Nami snapped.

-Dressrosa-

-Baby 5-

Baby 5 let out a cute sneeze, covering her face with the sword-arm she was trying to kill Doflamingo with.

"Oh? Is someone talking about you, Baby 5?" Doflamingo chuckled as he started reeling out his threads. "They better hope it's not an insult."

'C-could someone need me?' Baby 5's eyes lit up with stars as she charged at Doflamingo again.

-Orange Town-

-Randy-

"Why is it so tiring just TALKING TO YOU?!" Nami huffed as she acted like she was getting a headache.

"Hahahaha, just calm down!" Luffy chuckled.

"Deep breaths, Nami," I smirked. "So, what's a girl like you doing in a pirate-ridden place like this?"

Nami took a deep breath, and looked a bit pensive about saying anything. "Well… since I guess you'll be working with me, Randy… you do have a right to know." She looked at me and smiled, though… to me, it felt about half-real. "My goal is to get 100,000,00 Beri! Then I'm going to buy a village!" I could feel the eagerness in her voice, but she was still hiding her scars and pain from us.

"A Hundred Million Beri?" Luffy stated. "You're going to have to steal from a lot of pirates to get that much."

"I've got a plan for that," Nami smirked as she turned away. She gave me a flirty wink as she pulled out the chart she'd stolen earlier.

'Must have been hidden in Victoria's secret compartment.'

"Look! I just stole this map of the Grand Line!" Nami proudly said. "I'll steal Buggy's treasure, and then I'll go to the Grand Line. The pirates there are bound to have a ton of treasure, so 100,000,000 Beri will be a cinch to get!" She then looked at me first. "You said you were in, right?"

I took a deep breath of my own, and calmed myself a bit. "...Nami, I'm gonna be honest with you. You're not telling the complete truth to us." I could see her bite her lip a bit. "However...I already said I'd be fine with teaming up with you, and whatever the deal with you and that village you have your eye on, that's your business." I looked her straight in the eye and gave a warm smile. "So here's the deal, you want my help, you've got it. If you want to tell me what's going on later, I'll listen, but I won't push you to do so." I extended a hand to her and my smile became a smirk. "If you're willing to have me, consider yourself under my protection."

"Glad to have you protecting me, Randy~" Nami teased as she took my hand and shook it. I felt some kind of rush as she did so, and when she let go of my hand, I just felt… more powerful? Nami moved to talk to Luffy, and I was just kinda standing there in my own thoughts.

'Did I just activate the other part of my Devil Fruit? Nami agreed to let me protect her… and that triggered it. Is Nami a part of my Harem now? How does that even work? I suppose I could try to make some Guards for her and-'

"FORGET IT!" Nami yelled, breaking me out of my thoughts. "If I knew you were a pirate, I wouldn't have offered. Just forget this conversation ever happened!"

"What conversation?" I asked. "What happened?"

"Luffy's a pirate, and I…" Nami looked cross as she looked at me, smirking back at her. Her face softened a bit as she realized I was joking. "You dummy."

I chuckled, noting Nami was already looking cheerier. "Not the first time I've been a dummy, and it won't be the last." I looked over to Luffy. "So, Luffy, you said that hat was your treasure, right?" Luffy nodded. "It's a sentimental treasure, isn't it?"

"Send it metal?" Luffy asked. "My hat's made of straw, you idiot!"

"Sentimental is the word, Luffy," Nami sighed. "It means that it… means a lot to you… and brings back fond memories."

"Yeah, that's it!" Luffy smiled as he took off his hat and looked at it. "I got this hat years ago from a friend. It's my precious treasure! I swore to that person that I'd gather a pirate crew and become a great pirate! Then he gave me this."

"Well, looks like you needed a reminder that not all treasure needs to have monetary value, Nami," I grinned cheekily at her.

Nami just pouted at me and then resumed a calmer facade for a brief moment. "If there's one thing I hate in this world more than anything, it's PIRATES!" Nami snapped, slamming her hands on the table. "I only like money and mikans!"

I snapped my fingers and hissed. "Damn, I'm neither of those," I grumbled half-heartedly as I gave Nami a smile, and she smiled back. "So, you want to steal Buggy's treasure, any ideas on how to do it?"

Nami paused, looking out the window for a moment, and then looked at Luffy and grinned. "I might have an idea…"

I looked at Nami, then to Luffy, and then back to Nami. "I have an idea of what you're thinking, and it probably won't work."

"Oh really? Then tell me what I'm thinking."

I leaned in and whispered in her ear. "You're thinking of tying up Luffy and leaving him to Buggy while you get everyone drunk and then steal their treasure."

"That's...exactly what I was thinking," Nami gaped at me. "So why won't it work?"

"Because you called me 'Boss', and then I had to beat up those pirate grunts. They've probably woken up and reported back to Buggy by now."

"Oh."

"And I'm not gonna let you tie him up and leave him to Buggy's crew," I gave Nami a look that said I was not fine with throwing Luffy under the bus. "Not alone that is."

-Fifteen Minutes Later-

-Nami-

This plan of Randy's seemed really risky. Sneak towards Buggy's treasure storage, tie up him and Luffy, and then make lots of noise and act like I double-crossed them when Buggy's men showed up to investigate. "You're sure this is going to work?" I asked as I finished tying Randy up.

"Nope, but it's a fair bit more believable than you walking Luffy and me up to Buggy's front door," Randy replied. He glanced over to Luffy, who was already tied up. "Thanks for going along with this, Luffy."

"Sure, if it'll help Nami agree to be my Navigator!" Luffy beamed.

"Not if this works out," I muttered under my breath. "So, lots of noise?"

"Right, and sorry about this, Luffy," Randy said as he looked over to Luffy.

"Sorry about wha—" Luffy got out before Randy stomped on his foot. "Eeeeeeyowch! What the hell was that for?!"

"Part of the distraction," I said quietly to Luffy before belting out, "Hey! We're supposed to be a team! You double-crossing bitch!"

"Hey, there's yelling coming over from the treasure room!" A grunt called out.

"Perfect. And now for the finishing touch." Randy grinned as he threw himself out into the street. Luffy just stood there like an idiot until I gave him the boot.

"What the hell?" The grunt said as I stepped out and put a foot on Luffy.

"So, how's my audition for Captain Buggy's crew?"

-Rooftop of the Drinker's Pub-

-Five Minutes Later-

The plan worked like a charm. Buggy's dumbfounded dummies basically let me walk us all right into Buggy's hideout made from the Drinker's Pub. As soon as I was in front of Buggy, I let go of the ropes that went to Randy and Luffy and I kicked them to the ground. "I've captured the thieves, Captain Buggy." I held the map out for him to take. "And I think this belongs to you."

"Why the turnaround, girl?" Buggy crackled out. "You stole the map, and now you're just giving it back to me?"

"I stole it under my boss's orders, but if it'll bring this kind of trouble, I don't want any part of it."

"You backstabbing little bitch!" Randy hissed out at me. "If I wasn't tied up, I'd smack the pretty right off your fucking face!"

"Well, 'boss', you are tied up, and I'm done working for you," I smirked and turned to Buggy. "I can't believe it took me this long to leave these two idiots, but… would you have a place on your crew for me, Captain Buggy?"

"Hehe...hehehehe...HAHAHAHAHA!" Buggy roared as his crew flinched back, thinking he was mad. "This is a riot! You got tired of the mouth on your boss, girl?"

"My name is Nami, Captain Buggy," I corrected him. "And that was only one of the things that made me consider quitting."

"Yeah, real smart of you, Nami," Randy rolled his eyes at me. "Like giving away your real name to someone you intended to betray."

I flinched and took a step back at Randy's cutting remark. I'm pretty sure my reaction got a genuine smirk out of Randy. 'Damn, he's got a point. If Buggy wants to come after me, he'll know who I am.' "So what, it's not like you're gonna live long enough to chase me down!" I stuck out my tongue at him as Buggy laughed.

"Sounds like your old boss was pretty smart, but you were smarter!" Buggy chortled.

"I'm pretty sure you're not much of a trade-up, Buggy," Randy snapped. "Your bounty's what, fifteen-million? There's a pirate who's been dead for three years and he was worth more then than you are now!"

-Syrup Village-

-Klahadore-

A man in a black suit sneezed, and adjusted his glasses from the reaction he had. "Are you alright, Klahadore? I hope you're not catching a cold." Klahadore turned to the lady of the house, Kaya and gave a smile.

"No, Miss Kaya, I don't believe I am," he replied as another, more sheep-like butler walked over.

"Perhaps someone's speaking of you, Klahadore!" Merry chuckled.

"Good things, I would hope," Klahadore smiled before resuming a neutral facade. 'If someone is, it's probably that fool I let capture "Captain Kuro" bragging about it.' The true Captain Kuro walked away to fetch Miss Kaya's lunch.

-Orange Town-

-Nami-

"You shouldn't speak ill of the dead, brat," Buggy walked over to me and leaned in close. "Especially since you're going to join them by the end of the day!" Buggy's men hauled out a cage and dropped it on the rooftop with a heavy thud.

'How much does that thing weight? Those bars are as thick as my forearm!'

"Now, just sit back, Boss, and pray to whatever god you worship for mercy!" Buggy had his men throw Randy and Luffy into the cage and locked it.

"Was being locked in a cage a part of the plan?" Luffy asked bluntly.

Randy sighed as he righted himself. "Not technically, but it's a minor setback."

"Alright, you bums! We're going to have a party!" Buggy roared. "To celebrate our new crewmate, Nami! Celebrate flashily!" It didn't take much longer for Buggy's men to roll out the barrels of rum and food a plenty.

'Stolen from the village no doubt.' Nami just smiled as she sat across from Buggy at a small table.

"What's wrong, Nami?" Buggy asked. "This party's in your honor after all, so eat and drink to your heart's content!"

"Yes Captain!" Nami agreed as her smile became just a tad bit wry. 'I'll just keep my eyes peeled, and once these guys get drunk off their asses, I'll swipe the map of the Grand Line back, free Randy, and then we'll steal all their treasure right out from under their noses!''

-Randy-

"Alright, that's your ropes undone," I sighed as I finished untying Luffy.

"Thanks Randy! You're a good guy!" Luffy grinned. "Now I just gotta get some of their food!"

"Oh, I think I can handle that," I replied, reaching my hand outside the cage and placing it on the ground. "Realize: Mettaurs!"

Luffy's eyes lit up as two construction worker helmets phased out of the ground, and popping up from underneath were two Mettaurs. "That's so cool! How did you do that?"

"Same trick that lets me turn my arms into weapons," I smirked. "Alright, can you guys go sneak us some food?" The Mettaurs gave a little grunt and walked off. "So, while we wait, wanna watch a video with me?"

"What's a video?" I pulled out my phone and pulled up YouTube.

"Let's see… something you'd probably be interested in… Oh, I know! You wanna see a skeleton and a vampire fight each other using magic?"

"A Skeleton and a Vampire fighting?! Using Magic!?" Luffy's eyes lit up again, sparkling even brighter. "Yesyesyesyes!"

I smirked as I pulled up the battle between Shalltear Bloodfallen and Ainz Ooal Gown. "Alright, just sit back, and…" The two Mettaurs came back, each with a plate full of meat. "Oh, food's here too!"

"Awesome!" Luffy pulled the plates inside and I turned to the Mettaurs.

"You two keep watch, and let me know if someone is approaching." The Mettaurs meeped and nodded, and I started to video to entertain Luffy as he inhaled food.

-Roughly Twenty Minutes Later-

"So they were fighting, despite being nakama?" Luffy asked as the video ended.

I nodded. "But it wasn't Shalltear's fault. She was being mind-controlled by magic."

Luffy nodded as well. "That sucks. Still, the fight was really cool! I can't believe the bone-guy was thinking so far ahead!"

"Well, that's just another way of fighting, Luffy," I smirked. "Knowing is half the battle. If you have information on your enemy, and prepare for their abilities, you can plan the best way of fighting them so you can win easier."

"That seems kinda busy," Luffy complained. "Why didn't he just beat her up like he did at the end?"

"Because he's a magic caster, and magic casters don't usually have a strong body because they learn so much magic. They don't spend time building muscle, but instead build their minds." I tapped my head to emphasize. "And if you're fighting weak people or overconfident people, you can win with only your mind."

"So do you use magic?" Luffy asked. "But you beat those guys up with a sword…"

"I'm actually kind of the middle road, Luffy. I'm a magic knight," I felt the Mettaur tap me gently with its pickaxe, and I nodded. "I'll have to explain to you later."

"Awww," Luffy groaned as Nami approached us.

"So, Boss, how's the cage treating...huh?" Nami moved the plates she was holding and saw the two Mettaurs looking up at her. "Wh-what ARE these… things?"

"They're called 'Mettaurs', and I happen to think they're cute. And they're quite helpful in many ways." I smiled at Nami as she just gave me a dumbfounded look.

"Where did they come from?"

"Oh, I summoned them," I chuckled as Nami flinched a bit.

"S-Summon? What are you, a wizard?" Nami snapped.

"He's a magic knight!" Luffy chuckled as he snatched the food off the plates.

"H-Hey, that was supposed to be for both of you!" Nami chided Luffy.

"Oh relax, Nami, I already ate. The Mettaurs got us some food earlier." I leaned back against the cage. "So, what is this, some kind of 'last meal' for your former allies?"

"That's what it looks like to me," Buggy cackled, making Nami jump a bit.

"C-Captain Buggy! Y-Yeah, I felt like treating my former Boss to a last meal!" Nami looked a bit nervous as she backed away from us.

Buggy chuckled and slapped a hand on Nami's shoulder. "Your timing is perfect, Nami! Because I'm feeling great, and it's time we end this party with a BANG!" Buggy turned to his crew and posed. "Alright men, load up the Special Buggy Ball!"

I couldn't help but snicker. "You… you made a special cannon ball… and you called it a Buggy BALL…" Buggy just looked cross as he leaned down to the cage. "What? Was the 'Special Buggy Family Jewels' too long? A bit of a mouthful!?"

"Shut up, THIEF!" Buggy roared as I just laughed. "You won't be laughing once you see it in action!" We just watched as Buggy completely ignored the Mettaurs while his men set up a much more durable-looking cannon. They even anchored it into the rooftop with spikes. One of Buggy's men loaded up the bright-red cannonball with Buggy's Jolly Roger painted on it, and Buggy smirked.

"Wh-what's going on?" Nami asked.

"Observe the might of the Buggy Ball!" Buggy grinned. "Light it." After a few tense moments while the fuse burnt down, I had Luffy cover his ears and I did so as the cannon went off. Nami watched in horror as the cannonball ripped through a line of houses, exploding as it smashed through them. Buggy's men reveled in the destruction, while Buggy himself looked mighty pleased. "Truly flashy! With my Buggy Balls and Devil Fruit powers, I can conquer the Grand Line!" Buggy just turned back to Nami, who was still recovering from the shock. "Right, Nami?"

"Y-Yes! Of course!" Nami agreed.

"Eh?! I'M the one who's gonna conquer the Grand Line!" Luffy cried out.

"What?" Buggy's face flipped to a frown as he grit his teeth.

"I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!" Luffy declared.

"You idiot!" Nami snapped.

Buggy just started stifling his laughter. "I can see why you're sick of THAT one, Nami!"

"Y-Yeah! He's just so carefree! It's like the world is just a game to him!" Nami put a hand to her cheek. "I just couldn't put up with EITHER of them anymore…"

"Naturally! In that case, I'll give you a Buggy Ball to blow away your old comrades!" Nami stammered a bit as Buggy gave her a dark look with narrow eyes. "If you're really loyal to me, you'll do it!" Buggy's men uprooted the cannon and moved it over in front of the cage.

"No, you don't have to do that, really!" Nami argued. "Weren't we having a party? Let's just go back to drinking and having fun!"

Buggy's still-dark face turned to her with a sick grin. "This is my kind of fun." He handed her the box of matches, with his Jolly Roger on them of course. Buggy's men started chanting for Nami to fire the cannon.

"Hey, before Nami blows us to kingdom come, I gotta question for you Buggy," I spoke up, Nami looking rather distracted by her thoughts.

"Oh? And what's that, Boss?"

"How is the cannonball so special? I mean, don't cannons work by using gunpowder packed behind the cannonball? Or did you line the cannonball with like, I dunno, layers of gunpowder and rum so it'd explode repeatedly AFTER you fire it?"

Buggy just chuckled. "You've got an eye for chemistry, but it's not quite that simple," he laughed. "But you're not too far off. You're right, I do layer my chemicals over the Buggy Ball. That's why it's bigger and better than any normal cannonball!"

"I dunno, you still gotta FIRE the dang thing," I countered. "I'm sure someone could like, throw it faster."

"What kind of idiot THROWS a cannonball instead of firing it out of a cannon!?"

-Marineford-

-Monkey D. Garp-

Garp sneezed himself awake from his nap. "Eh? Someone's talking about me… I hope Sengoku didn't find out about that extra paperwork I slipped his way…"

"You WHAT?" a golden glow emitted from the room across the hallway.

"Oops. Better run!"

-Orange Town-

-Randy-

"Someone far stronger physically than you or I, I'd wager," I snipped at Buggy as I leaned back against the cage bars.

"Tch, idiot…" Buggy groused. "Nami, don't wimp out on me now! Flashily light that cannon!"

Nami flinched as she just looked at me, relaxing in the face of certain death. "What's the matter?" Nami's attention was drawn to Luffy. "Didn't you realize this would happen when you faced pirates with a half-assed resolve?"

"Resolve for what? To kill people like it's nothing!?" Nami snapped. "Is that what your resolve is like, pirate?!"

"No, the resolve to put your life on the line for your beliefs!" Luffy grinned as the rest of the world seemed to drown out to us. It didn't take two seconds more as one of Buggy's men snatched the matchbox out of Nami's hand.

"Oi, new girl! Quit bein' a tease!" The pirate with hair styled like a harlequin's cap, fuzzballs and all, struck the match. "This is how you light it!" As he reached out for the fuse, Nami reached under her skirt and rapidly assembled her staff. She swung, and her staff cracked the air as the pirate's face met the rooftop.

Nami quickly realized what she'd done on impulse. "Crap, I didn't mean to-!"

"NAMI! What's the meaning of this?!" Buggy demanded.

Nami gave a quick bow. "I'm sorry!"

"What!? You can't apologize for that!" Buggy snapped out with shark-like teeth.

"Huh? You're saving us?" Luffy asked.

"Well, duh Luffy, that was the plan," I pointed out.

"It wasn't just that!" Nami snipped. "I did it because I don't want to turn out like these damned pirates!"

"Oh, I see," Luffy realized.

"Pirates took the life of someone dear to me!" Nami revealed in her rush of emotions. "That's why I'll never become a pirate!"

"Oh, so that's why…" Luffy said as he found the fuse had been lit. "Oh crap, the fuse!"

"What?!" Nami asked as she saw it too.

"Keep your mockery to a minimum, girl!" Buggy growled with bloodshot eyes. "Kill her-!"

"Mettaurs, TEN HUT!" I cut in as the Mettaurs pulled out their pickaxes, much to the surprise of Buggy's crew.

"What the hell are those things!?" Buggy pondered in a scream.

"Dynawave!" The Mettaurs struck the rooftop and shockwaves rippled across, knocking out and away Buggy's mooks. "Now break the lock!" The Mettaurs quickly rushed over and with one using the other as a platform, they struck the lock and smashed it. "Luffy, we're free!"

"About time!" Luffy laughed as we opened the cage and ran out.

"You sneaky thief!" Buggy growled as he charged at me.

"I'm sorry, your party's been crashed," I smirked as the two Mettaurs dissolved and two small picks appeared in my hands. Buggy's hands were filled with knives as I caught them on the metal part of the picks. "Nami, get back to the cannon! Luffy… SMASH."

"O-Okay!" Nami ran over to the fuse to extinguish it as Luffy punched Buggy away from me.

"Thank you!" I ran over with Nami to douse the fuse.

"I can't just smother this thing with my hands!" Nami complained. "I'm not risking…"

"Oh, just let me do it," I huffed. "Bubbler." Nami's jaw slacked as my forearm turned into the end of what looked like a Super Soaker and I shot out a bubble that juuuuust grazed the lit fuse and extinguished it.

"Wha… what was…" Nami just looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head. "You really can turn your sword into an arm?!"

"And more!" I spun around and aimed the Bubbler at the incoming pirates. "SURF'S UP! BUBBLER!" Buggy's mooks yelled as I blasted them with bubbly water, washing them back towards Buggy's tent.

"C-Captain! That guy's got a Devil Fruit like you!" one of them yelped, drawing Buggy's attention to me.

Buggy's eyes bugged out as he kicked Luffy away from him. "The hell!? I've never seen a Devil Fruit that does that before!"

"It's not a Devil Fruit!" I chirped as I blasted back another group of Buggy's men.

"Behind you!" Luffy's cry made me turn around to see a quartet of knife-wielding acrobats descending on Nami. I dashed between them and her and threw up my Bubbler-arm to block.

"Oh, this is gonna suck..." I whined out before I saw a sword swing cut them down and a large man land in front of me.

"Oi, oi… Looks like the party started without me," the man commented as I finally saw he had mint-green hair. "You alright, man?"

"Yeah, thanks for the save," I nodded as my arm turned back to normal. "You're Roronoa Zoro, right?"

"Zoro!" Luffy called out and just confirmed my question. "You finally made it!" Buggy's men froze when they realized who just showed up.

"Man, aren't you just having fun today?" Zoro hummed. "First, that bird snatches you up, and then I find you beating up a circus with a girl and her boyfriend."

"He's/She's not my boyfriend/girlfriend," Nami and I objected before looking at each other with a slight blush dusting our cheeks.

"H-Hey, he said 'Zoro', right?" one of Buggy's men asked. "Like, the Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro!?"

"So, you're the infamous Pirate Hunter, Zoro," Buggy stated gravelly. "What are you doing here? Finally come to take my head?"

"Nope. Not interested," Zoro calmly replied. "I left the pirate-hunting business."

"Well, I'm interested! Killing you will add to my fame!" Buggy chuckled.

Zoro just looked back at Buggy and glared. "I wouldn't try it; you'll die."

"Oh? Is that a fact?" Buggy twirled a knife in one hand and gripped a second in the other.

Zoro just sighed in annoyance. "Seems like I can't talk you out of it…" Buggy's men started cheering for him as Zoro gripped Wado Ichimonji in his mouth and drew his other two blades.

His usual grin stretched across his face, Buggy charged at Zoro and leaped at him with so many openings. "DIE FLASHILY!" Zoro barely had to move as he bisected Buggy at the waist, and cut the limbs on the right side of his body. Buggy's men stopped cheering as his cut form hit the floor.

"Well, that was a waste of time," Zoro sighed as he sheathed his swords. "I didn't feel any resistance."

"Wow, he's weak!" Luffy chuckled. I paused and walked over to the body. 

"He's not dead." Buggy's men all flinched and jumped a bit at my statement.

"Well, probably not, he's still got his head attached," Zoro commented. "But he might bleed…" Zoro's eyes widened as he caught onto what I was getting at.

"Not from a cut, he won't," I said, stomping on the foot from Buggy's detached leg.

"YEEEEOWCH!" Buggy's upper body shot up, his hand shooting up to his body on reflex as his lower half bounced around on the remaining free leg. "What the hell is your problem, you bast-aaaahhh…"

I could only grin as I had let Buggy reveal himself early. "So that's your Devil Fruit, you Joker-wannabe."

"Grrr, clever kid," Buggy growled as I let his remaining leg go free. "I ate the Chop-Chop Fruit, and it turned me into a Chop-Chop Man!" His limbs reattached themselves seamlessly. "You can cut and chop me all you want, but you won't hurt me!"

"Devil Fruits are real!?" Nami gasped before looking over to me.

"A Chop-Chop Man? That's just silly," Luffy, the Rubber-Man said with a tilt of his head.

"Damn, so I can't even win against him?" Zoro chided himself for the easy deception.

"Not without Haki, you can't." I stepped up and assumed a light boxing stance. "Mind if I take a swing at him? I owe him for trying to shoot me with a cannon."

"How does a no-name brat from the East Blue like YOU know about Haki?!" Buggy snapped.

I grinned back. "I like to read and research."

"Too bad book smarts can't save you here, thief!" Buggy threw the five knives he was holding in his left at my face, which I ducked under and charged him. "Not bad…" I threw a punch and Buggy blocked it with the flat of his knife. "But straight-up fighting isn't my style." I heard a click and felt something cold in my stomach. A quick glance down showed Buggy had flipped out the knife in his shoe and stabbed me with it.

"Fuck…" I groaned as I staggered back, a bit of blood dripping out around the blade. Buggy kicked me in the stomach where he'd stabbed me, knocking me flat on my ass as the shoe-knife ripped its way out of my tender flesh.

"Randy!" Nami gasped as I covered my stomach.

'God fucking dammit! I can feel the wound's gone already, but it still hurts like a mother fucker!'

"Hey, fighting with cheap shots like that is unfair, BIG NOSE!" Luffy roared. Buggy's men and Nami froze.

"Who's… got… A BIG NOSE!?" Buggy roared back as he shot a knife-wielding hand at Luffy's face. But Luffy, who wasn't tied up this timeline, grabbed the hand and started to grip down on it. "EEEEEEGGGHH!"

"Buggy, I'm definitely going to kick your ass!" Luffy grinned as he snapped the knife blade in two with a single punch. He let Buggy's hand go and Buggy recalled it of course.

"How're you gonna kick MY ass?" Buggy laughed. "You're a riot, kid! You four got nowhere to go, and you're going to die here!" Buggy's men joined in on their Captain's laughing.

"It's no use…" Nami whimpered. "It's all over…"

"Gimme a minute… and we'll see who's gonna die here or not!" I rumbled as I pushed myself to my feet.

Luffy just started laughing, unnerving Buggy and his crew. "I refuse to die here!" Luffy stated like it was fact. "Zoro, let's get outta here! And we're taking them with us!"

"Geez, you're starting to be a handful," Zoro groused as he picked me up.

"Hey, wait, I said just give me a minute!" I tried to argue as I was thrown over Zoro's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "I'm not hurt!"

"Quit lying and just let me carry you."

"Oh? You think you can get away from me?" Buggy asked as he impeded Zoro's path. Zoro just drew Wado Ichimonji and cut Buggy again. "See? You can't beat me, Roronoa-!" Buggy then realized Zoro had run past him while Buggy was busy piecing himself back together. "Hey, get back here!"

"Shishishishi! I got a great idea!" Luffy grabbed the cannon's barrel and lifted up, throwing the cannon so the barrel faced Buggy and his crew.

"Aaaah! That cannon is pointed at US now!" one of the mooks pointed out.

"And it still has the Special Buggy Ball inside it!" Buggy realized.

"Oi, can you light this?" Luffy asked Nami.

"Y-Yeah!" Nami struck the match and put it to the fuse, but the fuse didn't light. "Darn it! It's still wet from earlier!"

"I got this. FireSwrd!" My arm turned into the sword again, but this time I was wielding a blade made of fire. "See ya in the funny papers, Buggy!" I gave the clown a smirk as I chopped down on the fuse, lighting a drier part and firing the cannon. "Now will you put me down?"

Zoro just gave me an "are you stupid?" look. "You're still injured, so no."

"I told you, I'm not injured!" I snapped back at him, only for someone else to punch me over the head.

"Just listen to him and let's escape while we can!" Nami scolded me. I looked at her and… was honestly surprised with how concerned she looked.

'I guess this is scaring her more than I thought.' I sighed with relent. "Fine, let's go."

"Great!" Luffy hopped over to the next roof first, then Zoro jumped with me, and then Nami followed after a moment of hesitation.

**-[X]-**

**So, between 40+ of scheduled work and trying to get back into the swing of drawing, this took me a bit to get done. But hey, in under two weeks? I consider that a big plus! Canon hasn't been completely screwballed yet, but that's because we haven't made too many big changes. Zoro's unhurt, and in his place, Randy took a stab to the stomach. But hey, at least we know our hero won't die of blood loss now!**

**Also, I named the owner of that house Barkin because... well, Boodle is one letter away from Poodle, so Barkin is one letter away from Barking... Don't judge, I thought it was clever. Anyway, until next time!**


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